Ok so it's improbable that someone who just stopped going to the gym and started eating everything in site would suddenly loose three pounds in a week by simply cutting their calories, and going back to the gym but that is what the scale told me this morning. It only groaned a little bit when I stepped on its tempered glass surface rather than screaming in sheer agony. This is a plus.
Let me recap--
Last year when I went to the GYN for my annual the tech said "I need to weigh you" My response was "That's not necessary I weigh 216 pounds." The tech looked at me suspiciously "No, I need to weigh you" I kicked off my shoes, took the keys out of my pocket, and asked if I could remove my bra for I was certain the under wire would throw the scale off. When the number appeared on the digital read out I quivered in fear. Not only did I not weight 216 pounds I was 7 pounds heavier.
The GYN didn't say much as my BP was normal, and I promised that I would take the weight off before I saw her in a year. Apparently I was convincing because I walked out with a shiny new script for the Nuva Ring despite being way over weight and 35. That night I started to work out religiously. Every night I went to the gym. I also put myself on a rigorous diet-100 calorie pack and yogurt for breakfast, a sensible lunch for approximately 300 calories, and what ever I wanted for dinner--thus keeping my caloric intake under 1500 a day for food consumption and then burning an additional 300 or so at night. I was netting a reasonable 1200 calories a day--within 3 months I had lost 17 pounds. People at work were commenting on the loss and I beamed with pride. Here I was with PCOS and I was loosing weight!
Then in May we decided that it was finally time to give another IUI a try sitting firmly at 195 pounds--only 15 pounds heavier than I was when we got married. I was so certain that I would get pregnant with all that weight gone... Well of course I worked out religiously until ovulation. Then I quit. I didn't want to jinx implantation. When my cycle came I took another week off because it was heavy as failed IUI cycles tend to be. By then I had been away from the gym for 3 weeks. Three became four, four became five. Then I stopped going at all. My husband of course had picked up where I dropped off--he was walking at night and riding his road bike at least 3 times a week-sometimes to work and back. Me, I made excuses.
When this cycle failed I stood on the scale again--and again I quivered when 206 popped up on the digital display. How was it that I had gone from 195 pounds back up to 206 with no end in site if I allowed myself to keep going on at that rate. It was and is disgusting. So this past week with AF here I was at the gym or working out in some capacity.
Today not only did the scale say I was 3 pounds lighter--now a whopping 203 but I also did something else that I have NEVER done before. I ran for 30 minutes--I completed a 5K course, and then I biked another 8 miles for another 1/2 hour to round out my 60 minutes. It was a huge ego boost.
I imagine if I keep this up that maybe I can be at 195 when I go to NYC for my first check up to see if we qualify for the study. That will be 15 pounds heavier than I need to be...but its a step in the right direction....
D
O
W
N!
And seeing as my GYN appointment is January 28th I will at least be able to step on the scale knowing that she will be able to move the notch down a peg from 200 this go around!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Discovered...
I've been discovered!
Well, not in a Lana Turner kind of way but rather by happenstance of the blog world.
First I was discovered blogging again by my husband. I was kind of mad at him. Not because I have anything to hide, heck he knows it all before "you all" do but because there are things that I can type out here that I don't dare say out loud. I don't say them out loud because if I put them out there I can't take them back. Here, I can type anything I want and as long as I don't hit PUBLISH POST then I can take it back--poof--gone. Of course I can also push publish post, and then later when I'm thinking rather than feeling I can go to the edit option and click DELETE.
So I've been found out by a very "old" reader of my very old blog. What is "funny" is that even though I haven't updated my old blog in almost three years now I periodically get a comment on it (I authorized comments at my old digs) asking if I would please update. Of course I feel like a fake by not going back there and saying "Here I am, follow me over here if you want..." but on the flip side of that I don't.
My old story was about AJ. It was his space. The space that followed the heart ache that preceded his conception, and the heart wrenching depression that followed his loss and I don't want to go back there.
So now what? I've been discovered...if its a small world the internet is even smaller. Well, you're here. HI! I'm glad you found me. It's nice to see a familiar face. All I ask is that you keep this space separate from other spaces where our paths cross. On the flip side, if there is anyone else who "knew me when" have them stop by too. Who knows, maybe I will pour some wine and cut up some cheese and we can have a true blog warming party...
Well, not in a Lana Turner kind of way but rather by happenstance of the blog world.
First I was discovered blogging again by my husband. I was kind of mad at him. Not because I have anything to hide, heck he knows it all before "you all" do but because there are things that I can type out here that I don't dare say out loud. I don't say them out loud because if I put them out there I can't take them back. Here, I can type anything I want and as long as I don't hit PUBLISH POST then I can take it back--poof--gone. Of course I can also push publish post, and then later when I'm thinking rather than feeling I can go to the edit option and click DELETE.
So I've been found out by a very "old" reader of my very old blog. What is "funny" is that even though I haven't updated my old blog in almost three years now I periodically get a comment on it (I authorized comments at my old digs) asking if I would please update. Of course I feel like a fake by not going back there and saying "Here I am, follow me over here if you want..." but on the flip side of that I don't.
My old story was about AJ. It was his space. The space that followed the heart ache that preceded his conception, and the heart wrenching depression that followed his loss and I don't want to go back there.
So now what? I've been discovered...if its a small world the internet is even smaller. Well, you're here. HI! I'm glad you found me. It's nice to see a familiar face. All I ask is that you keep this space separate from other spaces where our paths cross. On the flip side, if there is anyone else who "knew me when" have them stop by too. Who knows, maybe I will pour some wine and cut up some cheese and we can have a true blog warming party...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Exclusion Protocal...
I would wager a guess that IVF is the easiest, fastest, gauranteed, most probable way that a woman with PCOS would be able to become pregnant with or without regular periods. Alas, guess which line of the exclusion portion of the study that I would fall into....oh no wait, there are two.
Exclusion Criteria:
* Not willing or able to sign the consent form.
* Either partner has symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection (including: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis) and has not been treated.
* Female with active Varicella or/and Rubella infection.
* Either partner with Hepatitis A, B or C and has not been treated.
* Positive Genetic test results for: Fragile X (only if both partners are carriers), Cystic Fibrosis, Ashkenazi Panel (for Jewish Subjects) Hemoglobin Electrophoresis (for Asian, Latinos and African Americans)
* Abnormal Pap Smear.
* Abnormal Colposcopy.
* Female with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome without regular period (PCOS)with irregular menses.
* Female with diabetes, heart disease or/and has had heart attack or stroke.
I'm supposed to go for my first appointment on February 4th as mentioned in my earlier post. However now I'm not sure that I should bother.
I don't have regular periods on my own. I do however have very regular periods on Provera or birth control. However I will be controlled during an IVF protocal. Cycle day 1 will be when the doctor needs it to be, so WHY does it matter if I need to be on birth control pills to get me there?
Secondly, I have insulin resistance. I'm pre-diabetic. Odds are I'm going to be on insulin in the event that I become pregnant again.
I know I'm tilting at windmills here...I'm borrowing trouble. Technically I'm not a diabetic, I'm a pre diabetic...and I will have a very controlled cycle. All I can do is try...all I can do is go to the appointment be honest and up front and see what they say. If nothing else comes of it, my hubby and I will have a good time in the city for two days...
Exclusion Criteria:
* Not willing or able to sign the consent form.
* Either partner has symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection (including: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis) and has not been treated.
* Female with active Varicella or/and Rubella infection.
* Either partner with Hepatitis A, B or C and has not been treated.
* Positive Genetic test results for: Fragile X (only if both partners are carriers), Cystic Fibrosis, Ashkenazi Panel (for Jewish Subjects) Hemoglobin Electrophoresis (for Asian, Latinos and African Americans)
* Abnormal Pap Smear.
* Abnormal Colposcopy.
* Female with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome without regular period (PCOS)with irregular menses.
* Female with diabetes, heart disease or/and has had heart attack or stroke.
I'm supposed to go for my first appointment on February 4th as mentioned in my earlier post. However now I'm not sure that I should bother.
I don't have regular periods on my own. I do however have very regular periods on Provera or birth control. However I will be controlled during an IVF protocal. Cycle day 1 will be when the doctor needs it to be, so WHY does it matter if I need to be on birth control pills to get me there?
Secondly, I have insulin resistance. I'm pre-diabetic. Odds are I'm going to be on insulin in the event that I become pregnant again.
I know I'm tilting at windmills here...I'm borrowing trouble. Technically I'm not a diabetic, I'm a pre diabetic...and I will have a very controlled cycle. All I can do is try...all I can do is go to the appointment be honest and up front and see what they say. If nothing else comes of it, my hubby and I will have a good time in the city for two days...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Baby Steps To The Baby...
At 7:30 I picked up my cell phone and dialed the phone number. Well I dialed it incorrectly the first FOUR times, but that was not due to nerves but rather due to my touch screen on my cell phone. The fifth time was a charm and a real live person answered the phone. Of course after I rambled on about who I was and why I was calling the voice on the other end advised that I needed to talk to Matt and that it was early and that he wouldn't arrive until 9:30. Alrighty then I will call at 10 a.m.
At 10 I dialed the phone again only this time I got the voice mail. Oh how I hate voice mail. I left my pertinent information and then carried my phone with me everywhere I went even if it was to the desk across the office. I couldn't miss the phone call should it arrive.
Alas I called again at lunch since I still hadn't heard from them and then promptly emailed my husband that I was going stir crazy because I hadn't heard from them. Then it happened. Just as I was picking up my desk phone my cell started to vibrate. The client was disconnected and the cell picked up.
The voice on the phone was not that of a Matt much less a male, but rather a very nice young woman who promptly scheduled my first appointment. They can not of course order my blood work or chlamydia swab because I'm not officially a patient as of yet BUT once I go for my first appointment they will send me home with all the lab slips I need to have those done! The way she talked it was as if I were already part of the program--which is dangerous because the fall if I'm not accepted is going to be a high one!
The last surprise came when after we scheduled my appointment she said to me "We will see you AND your partner on February 4th at 10:30" Uhm hold up what? My partner, you mean my husband? Well of course you mean my husband I knew what you meant but wow I didn't think you'd need him yet. Alas they want him so that he can also give consent as well as a sample of the seed that will become our baby...
Baby steps...baby steps...I'm so nervous about this. So many things could go wrong but as I told two girl friends today if this works out it will be as if we received a gift of $10,000...baby steps...baby steps...I'm on dollar number $4....and that's a long way from $10,000!
At 10 I dialed the phone again only this time I got the voice mail. Oh how I hate voice mail. I left my pertinent information and then carried my phone with me everywhere I went even if it was to the desk across the office. I couldn't miss the phone call should it arrive.
Alas I called again at lunch since I still hadn't heard from them and then promptly emailed my husband that I was going stir crazy because I hadn't heard from them. Then it happened. Just as I was picking up my desk phone my cell started to vibrate. The client was disconnected and the cell picked up.
The voice on the phone was not that of a Matt much less a male, but rather a very nice young woman who promptly scheduled my first appointment. They can not of course order my blood work or chlamydia swab because I'm not officially a patient as of yet BUT once I go for my first appointment they will send me home with all the lab slips I need to have those done! The way she talked it was as if I were already part of the program--which is dangerous because the fall if I'm not accepted is going to be a high one!
The last surprise came when after we scheduled my appointment she said to me "We will see you AND your partner on February 4th at 10:30" Uhm hold up what? My partner, you mean my husband? Well of course you mean my husband I knew what you meant but wow I didn't think you'd need him yet. Alas they want him so that he can also give consent as well as a sample of the seed that will become our baby...
Baby steps...baby steps...I'm so nervous about this. So many things could go wrong but as I told two girl friends today if this works out it will be as if we received a gift of $10,000...baby steps...baby steps...I'm on dollar number $4....and that's a long way from $10,000!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
What Would You Do? AKA The Chance Of A LifeTime (Maybe)
I'm so afraid to put this out there for fear of jinxing it. In fact I didn't even tell my husband about this until three days after I applied for the program...
Ok...so I have passed two preliminary screenings to be part of a FULL TOUR IVF study. GULP.
What's the problem you ask?
Well...
On paper their criteria is:
A. Your insurance doesn't cover IVF--CHECK
B. You're 38 or under--CHECK
C. You have regular periods---uhm well, this is a problem...
Their requirements:
You or your insurance are responsible for the following testing:
IVF SCREENING TESTS
All screening tests are required to be updated within one year of any IVF cycle. Genetic testing and blood type are only done once.
Female Testing:
* HIV 1 & 2
* Hepatitis B Surface Antigen
* Hepatitis C Antibody
* RPR
* Rubella Titer
* Varicella Titer
* Blood type/Rh
* Pap smear
* GC (gonorrhea)
* Chlamydia
* CBC (complete blood count)
Male Testing:
* HIV 1 & 2
* Hepatitis B Surface Antigen
* Hepatitis C Antibody
* RPR
Genetic Testing:
All patients:
* Fragile X
* Cystic Fibrosis
Of course these must be completed at or before your first visit which is when they determine if you can fully participate in the program. Alas this concerns me--I'm not worried about any of the above, but what I am worried about is how they will be coded for the insurance. I'm also concerned that my own GYN won't be willing to do the testing without a script.
Other concerns: The clinic is many hours away--do I really want to have these tests done only to be told I do not qualify for the study?
On paper I'm a candidate based on age, insurance requirements etc...but what if they have weight requirements that weren't listed? I'm over weight lets be honest. I have had a miscarriage. It took us TEN YEARS to get pregnant with our son only to experience his loss. I'm not exactly a statistical bullet that the doctors are going to jump on.
Then there is the requirement of regular periods--on my own I do not qualify--I don't have regular periods because I don't ovulate on my own. I understand they want regularity for the initial testing so that they can keep the groups together, but that can be controlled...and will be...
If I'm on Provera, birth control or under ovulation induction I have a period...and back to back those are for all intents and purposes regular...
So....
Here is my plan--I'm going to call tomorrow and ask if 1. They can send scripts for the testing-after all I'm not convinced that my GYN will do the testing without them. If they won't then I will follow the following plan--
Today I'm on CD 3.
Sunday I will begin day 1 of birth control--this is the plan due to cysts from our failed cycle.
January 28th I have my yearly GYN appointment--current papsmear!
February 2nd my period should begin.
February 4th I will be at the clinic for my testing (assuming that the GYN won't do them), and for my exam to determine full eligibility.
Still I'm nervous. What would you do. Would you throw caution and cash to the wind and pay for the testing in the hopes that you're accepted or would you cut your losses having not lost anything and try again with ovulation induction that your insurance covers knowing that it took you 10 years to get pregnant before...knowing that your 36...and knowing that despite your best arguments to the contrary that you do really want to have at least one baby...this could be the chance of a life time, but seriously what would you do???
Ok...so I have passed two preliminary screenings to be part of a FULL TOUR IVF study. GULP.
What's the problem you ask?
Well...
On paper their criteria is:
A. Your insurance doesn't cover IVF--CHECK
B. You're 38 or under--CHECK
C. You have regular periods---uhm well, this is a problem...
Their requirements:
You or your insurance are responsible for the following testing:
IVF SCREENING TESTS
All screening tests are required to be updated within one year of any IVF cycle. Genetic testing and blood type are only done once.
Female Testing:
* HIV 1 & 2
* Hepatitis B Surface Antigen
* Hepatitis C Antibody
* RPR
* Rubella Titer
* Varicella Titer
* Blood type/Rh
* Pap smear
* GC (gonorrhea)
* Chlamydia
* CBC (complete blood count)
Male Testing:
* HIV 1 & 2
* Hepatitis B Surface Antigen
* Hepatitis C Antibody
* RPR
Genetic Testing:
All patients:
* Fragile X
* Cystic Fibrosis
Of course these must be completed at or before your first visit which is when they determine if you can fully participate in the program. Alas this concerns me--I'm not worried about any of the above, but what I am worried about is how they will be coded for the insurance. I'm also concerned that my own GYN won't be willing to do the testing without a script.
Other concerns: The clinic is many hours away--do I really want to have these tests done only to be told I do not qualify for the study?
On paper I'm a candidate based on age, insurance requirements etc...but what if they have weight requirements that weren't listed? I'm over weight lets be honest. I have had a miscarriage. It took us TEN YEARS to get pregnant with our son only to experience his loss. I'm not exactly a statistical bullet that the doctors are going to jump on.
Then there is the requirement of regular periods--on my own I do not qualify--I don't have regular periods because I don't ovulate on my own. I understand they want regularity for the initial testing so that they can keep the groups together, but that can be controlled...and will be...
If I'm on Provera, birth control or under ovulation induction I have a period...and back to back those are for all intents and purposes regular...
So....
Here is my plan--I'm going to call tomorrow and ask if 1. They can send scripts for the testing-after all I'm not convinced that my GYN will do the testing without them. If they won't then I will follow the following plan--
Today I'm on CD 3.
Sunday I will begin day 1 of birth control--this is the plan due to cysts from our failed cycle.
January 28th I have my yearly GYN appointment--current papsmear!
February 2nd my period should begin.
February 4th I will be at the clinic for my testing (assuming that the GYN won't do them), and for my exam to determine full eligibility.
Still I'm nervous. What would you do. Would you throw caution and cash to the wind and pay for the testing in the hopes that you're accepted or would you cut your losses having not lost anything and try again with ovulation induction that your insurance covers knowing that it took you 10 years to get pregnant before...knowing that your 36...and knowing that despite your best arguments to the contrary that you do really want to have at least one baby...this could be the chance of a life time, but seriously what would you do???
Saturday, January 1, 2011
CLOSED FOR THE HOLIDAY...
So much for my resolve to begin my training on the treadmill today.
The gym owners felt that their worker bees deserved the day off.
I know I sound like I'm complaining, and well, I guess I am...but really I'm not complaining about that. After all those poor worker bees are going to be inundated with those who don't currently have a membership who have resolved to join the gym, and by those who have a membership but whom haven't had their key fobs scanned in weeks, months, years...what ever the case may be. So I suppose that they too deserved a day to languish around in their sweat pants watching foot ball, eating cheese curls, and drinking champagne as well--not that I did any of those things.
Oh alright, I did languish in bed much of the day but I did not watch foot ball. Instead I treated myself to a Big Love marathon since I own (thanks to my wonderful husband) the first three seasons on DVD. Then I discovered that CMT (I think) is running a Dallas marathon so I switched over to that only to then remember that my folks in Cityville needed my attention. So while I have been glutinous AGAIN in my eating I haven't been a total potatoe...oh who am I kidding, I've been a total couch potato.
Tomorrow will be no better as I will be FORCED to eat cake at my nieces 1st birthday party. Can you believe it...cake...and I don't want to be rude, I will have to at least try avery small, middle piece that isn't covered in royal icing hunk of floury goodness that is covered in layers of sugar and red dye #2 icing so that people don't suspect that I could be A. STILL trying to get pregnant though not putting that much effort into it or B. Actually trying to loose weight or C. All of the above (C is the correct answer here folks).
On Monday when our company gave us off in honor of the holiday for some ungodly reason Pook and I are going skiing. I'm afraid one of us (me) will be coming home with a broken knee, ankle, elbow, shoulder, or pelvis. Any of the above would certainly put a damper on the year and certainly on any actual attempts at pregnancy or weight loss (which ever would like to come first) in the new year and beyond....
Lastly--it appears as though my body is also closed for the holiday as my AF still has refused to show up though she is giving me definitive signs that she is a coming...but she just isn't sure when. I'm guessing that due to the holidays that USBrooms has the old witch flying stand bye. My temps have dropped even further, I'm no longer bloated, and my left ovary isn't on fire. So any time now...just please NOT so that my next cycle might coincide with my appointment with my regular GYN as I already have a PTO day scheduled...
Now, after all of that don't you wish that this blog too was closed for the holiday?
The gym owners felt that their worker bees deserved the day off.
I know I sound like I'm complaining, and well, I guess I am...but really I'm not complaining about that. After all those poor worker bees are going to be inundated with those who don't currently have a membership who have resolved to join the gym, and by those who have a membership but whom haven't had their key fobs scanned in weeks, months, years...what ever the case may be. So I suppose that they too deserved a day to languish around in their sweat pants watching foot ball, eating cheese curls, and drinking champagne as well--not that I did any of those things.
Oh alright, I did languish in bed much of the day but I did not watch foot ball. Instead I treated myself to a Big Love marathon since I own (thanks to my wonderful husband) the first three seasons on DVD. Then I discovered that CMT (I think) is running a Dallas marathon so I switched over to that only to then remember that my folks in Cityville needed my attention. So while I have been glutinous AGAIN in my eating I haven't been a total potatoe...oh who am I kidding, I've been a total couch potato.
Tomorrow will be no better as I will be FORCED to eat cake at my nieces 1st birthday party. Can you believe it...cake...and I don't want to be rude, I will have to at least try a
On Monday when our company gave us off in honor of the holiday for some ungodly reason Pook and I are going skiing. I'm afraid one of us (me) will be coming home with a broken knee, ankle, elbow, shoulder, or pelvis. Any of the above would certainly put a damper on the year and certainly on any actual attempts at pregnancy or weight loss (which ever would like to come first) in the new year and beyond....
Lastly--it appears as though my body is also closed for the holiday as my AF still has refused to show up though she is giving me definitive signs that she is a coming...but she just isn't sure when. I'm guessing that due to the holidays that USBrooms has the old witch flying stand bye. My temps have dropped even further, I'm no longer bloated, and my left ovary isn't on fire. So any time now...just please NOT so that my next cycle might coincide with my appointment with my regular GYN as I already have a PTO day scheduled...
Now, after all of that don't you wish that this blog too was closed for the holiday?
Friday, December 31, 2010
Resolutions...
Happy New Years Eve!
I've made the dip, I've visited my parents, and now I'm ready to wish this year away.
Another trip around the sun has been completed. Another even year is behind us. Two years have passed since I should have made my husband a father. 365 days have passed again without another pregnancy to be had.
This coming year my estranged in-laws will become grandparents to their first living grand child. My nephew will be a year closer to driving-Lord help us all. My marriage will have reached the 13 year mark. Seconds become minutes. Minutes become hours. Hours become days. Days become months. Months become years. We trudge through these moments sometimes living in them and other times living for them. The tear that is shed because you open an unexpected gift-a moment you can't get back because it was so fleeting and oh so precious. Or those you hope to achieve "At this time next month, holiday, year I could be pregnant!"
I've made both of those proclamations--though not the latter so much this year. I think I've reached the acceptance point that at this junction I'm simply going through the motions. Two years without a pregnancy to follow the one that took us 10 years to achieve and only 7 weeks and 2 days to loose...its not likely to happen. So...I've made a decision.
This blog is titled 1 Day and one pound At A Time...and I'm getting back to that.
My husband is a runner. He used to not be. He lost 70+ pounds in under 10 months! It took me 3 months to loose 17 pounds, and about 7 months to gain them all back. Enough going through those motions. Its time to put up or shut up. It's time to get off the couch and reclaim my existence. Do you know why I haven't been to my aerobics class in WEEKS? Not because I was told I couldn't go to water aerobics but because I made the excuse "Well if I'm pregnant then it won't matter if I eat this extra *insert any junk food here*. So while I was not only busy not getting pregnant I was also busy getting fat because I couldn't say no to the cookies, or brownies, or cheese, or other junk food that looked good at the moment.
So my resolution...like so many others is to get back at it. It's not a mole hill, its a mountain and its going to take some time and effort to climb to the top. A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step...and while I may not have a child to walk with me I have a lot more miles to go and there is no reason why I have to travel them on a scooter because I'm now too fat to walk around our plan on a 50+ degree day without becoming winded while walking up a slight grade (this actually happened today).
I've made the dip, I've visited my parents, and now I'm ready to wish this year away.
Another trip around the sun has been completed. Another even year is behind us. Two years have passed since I should have made my husband a father. 365 days have passed again without another pregnancy to be had.
This coming year my estranged in-laws will become grandparents to their first living grand child. My nephew will be a year closer to driving-Lord help us all. My marriage will have reached the 13 year mark. Seconds become minutes. Minutes become hours. Hours become days. Days become months. Months become years. We trudge through these moments sometimes living in them and other times living for them. The tear that is shed because you open an unexpected gift-a moment you can't get back because it was so fleeting and oh so precious. Or those you hope to achieve "At this time next month, holiday, year I could be pregnant!"
I've made both of those proclamations--though not the latter so much this year. I think I've reached the acceptance point that at this junction I'm simply going through the motions. Two years without a pregnancy to follow the one that took us 10 years to achieve and only 7 weeks and 2 days to loose...its not likely to happen. So...I've made a decision.
This blog is titled 1 Day and one pound At A Time...and I'm getting back to that.
My husband is a runner. He used to not be. He lost 70+ pounds in under 10 months! It took me 3 months to loose 17 pounds, and about 7 months to gain them all back. Enough going through those motions. Its time to put up or shut up. It's time to get off the couch and reclaim my existence. Do you know why I haven't been to my aerobics class in WEEKS? Not because I was told I couldn't go to water aerobics but because I made the excuse "Well if I'm pregnant then it won't matter if I eat this extra *insert any junk food here*. So while I was not only busy not getting pregnant I was also busy getting fat because I couldn't say no to the cookies, or brownies, or cheese, or other junk food that looked good at the moment.
So my resolution...like so many others is to get back at it. It's not a mole hill, its a mountain and its going to take some time and effort to climb to the top. A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step...and while I may not have a child to walk with me I have a lot more miles to go and there is no reason why I have to travel them on a scooter because I'm now too fat to walk around our plan on a 50+ degree day without becoming winded while walking up a slight grade (this actually happened today).
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