Sunday, October 31, 2010

Almost Done!

I'm so very excited that on Tuesday which just so happens to be my 36th birthday that I get to trigger my eggs to ovulate! Of course I'm also a little nervous...the last time a trigger shot coincided with a special date on the calendar so did my pregnancy test...and well that pregnancy didn't quite end the way we had hoped for, but I can't think about that!

Actually I'm surprised at just how mellow I am. There have been several evenings where I have looked at the clock and noted "it's 6:30" and gone back to what I've been doing. Then I will realize "It's 6:30!!! I have to inject my FSH!!!" This is another irony that occured during my last pregnancy. There were quite a few nights where I either forgot until hours later that I needed to inject myself. While I'm hoping that the outcome is the same in that I urinate on a stick and it become positive, I'm hoping that the outcome is different in that I'm celebrating a live baby at the end.

Of course I'm getting myself here, but I can't help it. While I'm exceptionally mellow I'm also thinking into the future here...and that is especially true since given the change to our health care coverage I'm almost done in more ways than one!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

My Best Guess...

I've always known that at some point our infertility adventure would come to an end. Every journey does, I just guess I never thought about it coming to an end when our limited infertility coverage did. I guess I supposed that it would be on our terms. We would either be parents or we would simply have exhausted both our patience and our finances.

Certainly I do not know what the change in our medication coverage will mean. I hopeful that a doctor will be smart enough to realize that they are simply trying to circumvent "extra" medication floating around needlessly out there. My best guess is that the doctor would simply have the medication delivered to his/her office and the patient would take it home. Of course this is all a guess...and they could be wrong...

I'm hopeful still that we won't reach the end based on insurance, but you never know. I'm already feeling twinges in my ovaries from the growing follicles, and tonight I will give myself another injection of potential life growing medication.

I suppose I should stop worrying so much and just focus. There is a miracle out there...and who knows perhaps it could be mine!

In other news, we're getting closer to bringing Bentley home. I'm so excited. I actually feel like an expectant parent! There is so much to buy, and so much to do! Just like if i were pregnant...I guess.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


A friend of mine works for a doctors office and they received a bulletin from my insurance company. It appears that effective January 3, 2011 that they are no longer going to cover injectable medications such as Cetrotide, Ovidrel, Follistim, Gonal F and the like UNLESS they are to be injected by a physician at the office. Now OK, that is all fine and good-the way around that is that the physician will write the order and have it delivered to their office. Simple enough, but really truly you're now going to have doctors who see more dollar signs and want you to pay your $10, $20, or what ever co-pay you happen to have just to come in for an injection!

While I'm so hopeful that I do not need their services come January 3, 2011 what if I do? I can't afford a 12 day trip to the RE's office just to get a shot. Nor can I afford to purchase Follistim at pharmacy prices.

Of course it could all go to hell anyway and we could have different coverage all together--which is a possibility. Our company is visiting with differing insurance companies to determine where they can save the most money. Of course if either happens then we have literally TWO cycles in which to get pregnant...and if they fail then very realistically we're done TTC. I hate insurance companies!

I'm infertile which is just as devastating to me as if you said you had to cut off my right arm. The only difference between my miscarriages/infertility and loosing my arm is that I've gotten to be quite fond of my right arm!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

25 Units...550 Calories...

My follistim shot HURT tonight. OUCH. It still burns as I write this. I'm thinking I hit a stretch mark or something. I have yet to check for blood, but I'm certain that if I did that I would pass out from the site. Ok, so I just checked and yup I hit a stretch mark OUCH. I'm a bit concerned that I'm not feeling any differently yet. I know, I'm only on CD 7, and hello we've only been stimulating for 5 nights. Actually concerned isn't even what I'm feeling, I'm feeling fairly mellow. I'm actually MORE excited at the prospect of bringing Bentley (our puppy) home next month!

Most women who are cycling (generalizing here) research egg quality, FSH count, IUI days, estimated due dates, and how many embryo's they need to get as best a shot at pregnancy as possible. Me, I'm researching crate training, the potty patch, and yes a bit about this breed with a I'm not a total loss as an infertility patient!

My work out tonight again was good. I don't think it was as effective as last nights, but I still feel the endorphins flowing! I'm actually STARVING now. I wasn't hungry when I got home, but now after burning 550 calories I'm hungry...and well since I'm trying to grow eggs that will potentially become one half of a very cute baby I better go feed this body.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Splish Splash...Day 2

I tried to find an excuse not to go the water aerobics class. I thought I was getting a headache, I thought I had a sore throat, I thought my period hadn't quite ended. Excuse after excuse but I went. I will admit I was more than self conscious in the locker room but that too was needless. If you're willing to let me see your cellulite then I should have no qualms you seeing mine. Still, I dressed and undressed with the finesse of any former band geek.

I was the youngest woman in the class, and that made me feel a bit self conscious at first, but one lady was very friendly so that put me at ease. She told me that the goal was resistance and that coordination would come with time. Boy I hope so because doing rocking horses is not a strong point for me but I tried! By the end of the hour I was certainly tired.

As for this being something I can do when I get pregnant I'm not so sure. Yes its a great low impact work out, but that is the only thing that is low intensity about it. So I shall go for as long as I can, and who knows maybe loose a pound or two along the way while making a new friend?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day One...202 Pounds...And a Puppy...

Welcome to my blog!

Today was my first day back to the gym. In January I joined and managed to loose 27 pounds. In June when sperm + egg = embryos but no pregnancy my drive to continue on the weight loss path turned into a path heading for the cookie, ice cream, and candy isle at the grocery store. Of course my husband, like the slim quick commercial decides that he's going to loose weight and he does--60 pounds to be exact since the same time I stopped working out. Sigh. Anyway, we jointly decided at the same time that we should go back to the gym. Coincidentally my re-emergence at the gym is on cycle day 5 of a treatment cycle. Can we say glutton for punishment? I can almost guarantee that along with the lovely headache I had for two days that I will also be assured that I will "gain" 5 pounds by months end just because...

202 pounds-that was my weight today. I stood on the scale and almost cried. I've never been super model slim, but now I'm obese. Of course it's not the most ideal time to be trying to loose weight BUT I know from my last pregnancy that the gym and getting pregnant went hand in hand. I have my RE's blessing with the understanding that once ovulation induction has commenced that my training will need to be modified, and that I am NOT to go on a crash diet--IE NO Slim Fast, or Apple Cider Vinegar. I'm simply to cut my calories while still eating a balance of carbs, proteins and fats. I can handle this! Tomorrow I'm going to my first water aerobics class-the reason I've decided on this approach is because its something I'm hoping to be able to continue while pregnant!

And a husband I have kicked around adding a puppy to our family. Him, not as much as me. He'd rather kick the puppy than bring one home--not that he would actually kick the puppy, no, he just isn't a puppy person. He loves cats, they are independent and tend not to chew ones shoes. Still he has given the go ahead and adopt a furry friend. Little did we know that adopting a puppy would be easier than a human baby...for after a few emails and a phone call we're set up to bring out baby home on the 25th of November.

So folks that was day one...I have no idea what days 2-365 will hold...but I can tell you that we will talk about fertility, weight, weight loss, marriage, and I'm sure...the puppy when she comes home too...