Monday, January 17, 2011

You're Not Infertile You Jerk...

While I'm not one to down play any ones pain either real or perceived this annoyed me to the point where I had to remember that.

"I got pregnant with my first child a month after I got off birth control and a month before I got married. We conceived our second child again within a month of coming off the pill. Our third was conceived in the same manner, and then I decided to get an IUD placed. I had the IUD removed in May. We used condoms for June, July, and August. We started trying to conceive for real in November. Well now its January and I'm not pregnant again. I want to know when I can go to a doctor about my infertility."

SERIOUSLY you've been trying for TWO MONTHS and you think you're infertile!!

What I wanted to say and actually typed was this:

Keeping in mind that it took us 3 months to become pregnant only to miscarry and then 10 years later finally being pregnant again only to miscarry again I would tell you that your insane to even be considering the fact that you're "infertile" Get a grip, go grab a glass of wine and have sex a few more times with your husband because I'm sure that in three months you will be coming back here telling us that you were wrong you're not infertile because your 12 freaking weeks pregnant.

Instead what I said was...

While I don't wish to downplay you're pain you are no where near ready to be classified as infertile. Per the definition infertility is the inability to conceive after 12 months of unprotected intercourse if under 35 and 6 months if you're over 35. For someone who is both classically and secondarily infertile-if you can call me that I would say that no doctor is going to entertain your concerns seriously after just two cycles.

Of course now I'm waiting for those who shove rainbows and butterfly's are going to rip me apart, but boy...can you imagine if I had told her what I really think...Seriously people...I know you can't walk on egg shells around everyone but think before you speak...Grief it isn't like I go to over eaters annonymous and complain because I ate an extra serving of nachos yesterday and I gained an ounce...

Thank you for letting me vent. I feel better now.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Comfort Food...

This morning I got up and took the dog out. I made a mental note that I should throw some salt down on the patch of ice between the over hang of the patio and the front walk after the dog went sailing across in her exuberance to eliminate. Of course I apparently forgot by the time she was done and by the time hubby and I went out for our weekly Sunday breakfast. Well not forgot, just simply didn't follow through.

I even mentioned this to hubs as we walked out "Oh be careful B slid across a patch of ice this morning..." His response "I know, I almost took a sill on it last night before bed when I took her out." So please note that two responsible adults were both aware of said ice patch yet neither one of them did anything about it...

We went to breakfast, and had a great time chatting up our tattoo covered favorite waitress. We watched the old couple that always comes in at the same time every Sunday morning and wondered if that would be us some day-Her nagging him because he didn't hear what she said, and him telling her to quit picking on him. Oh wait, that's us now. We paid the bill, then headed to Wally World to pick up nacho chips and soap. We then came home, I leading the way up the walk--now having totally forgotten about the patch of ice that would soon be the cause of my fall...

I reached out in an attempt to grab the pillar that holds the roof above the patio but to no avail. In seconds I heard and felt my knee and hip making contact with the cold cement below, followed in quick succession with my hand when it sent a quiver up my extended arm into my shoulder. My husband not missing a beat picked up my purse, keys, and bag of chips--confirming that they weren't damaged--gee honey thanks...but how about me? I think I'm broken.

My hip and knee upon examination were turning lovely shades of molted pink, red, and ultimately a lovely egg plant purple. So I decided instead of my original plan of waiting until dinner to eat again, and then hitting the gym that I should instead curl up on the couch--eating Nacho's Bel-Pookey. Ah comfort food, it may not be healthy but it sure beats falling on the ice any day!


Whole Grain Nacho Chips
Ground Turkey browned with Taco Seasoning
Mexican Rice
Green Onions
Sour Cream

I looked up Nacho's Bel Grande on my weight loss ap and well lets just say that after the Jet's loose...pain in my knee or not...I will be on the treadmill...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

It Was A Fluke...

Further proving why I should totally distrust the internet world is the fact that even reputable sites sometimes encounter problems!

Apparently they were having issues yesterday that were repeatedly brought to their attention but that took hours to correct. Now I can appreciate that, but still should you not have put on a service advisory regarding that? Simply state while you are unable to book passage from point A to point B online you can do so by calling our customer service line. Of course I didn't think about this until after I wrote yesterdays post in total knee jerk reaction.

My hubby, God love him, was the voice of reason. "Maybe you should call them and find out if it is true." He then suggested contacting a particular air line to see how much it would be to fly instead. He reasoned that it would cost us well over $200 to rent a car, pay turnpike tolls, and park so if I were able to locate an airline that cost around $200 then we could fly instead. Alas, flying while only taking 3 1/2 hours from our metro area to theirs cost $33 more than the cost of an IUI after our deductible of course. It was only then that I decided to call customer service and was advised that travel from Point A to Point B had been restored, and that I could in actuality schedule travel.

So unless we are with something unexpected between now and the 3rd of February we're on our way to the big city. We will travel over night--arriving in the big city 4 hours prior to my scheduled appointment time. This excites me because I can have breakfast with my hubby in a cafe, and then walk to the park before having our reproductive history revealed, reviewed, and then have it be decided if we're worthy of procreating for know like the majority of the population who gets drunk on a Saturday night and a few weeks later realizes "oops we forgot to call up the goalie" but not really for our plan involves not ounces of alcohol but beakers and a test tube or two...but at least we can tell Matthew or Kate or Andrew or heck maybe even something exotic like Zuess that his or her conception and ultimate birth was as far from being a fluke as you can get...

Friday, January 14, 2011

Just Another Hurdle?

Since we got our foot in the door for the IVF study I've been constantly worrying about the reasons why we wouldn't be accepted. I never once dreamed that one of the reasons we wouldn't be accepted would be due to a potential no show. Of course most people would immediately have booked their travel plans-handed over the credit card or hit send on the internet landing page as soon as they had the confirmation email in hand, but having recently had an email account hacked I've been leery of doing anything via the internet that I can't do in person preferably with cash as I've had to cancel my favorite piece of plastic as a result of the hack, but I've been adjusting to that change.

With only three weeks remaining until I will be in the stirrups for possible entry into the IVF foray it was time to book our transport. At last check there was non stop service from our metro area to the big city 7 hours away. Today there isn't. No matter what destination I chose to arrive at leaving from our local hub I was unsuccessful in obtaining passage. It didn't matter if I chose Philly to NY or Philly to Washington DC or Philly to Virginia Beach. It simply did not matter what the local there was simply no services to be had. I contacted the company and inquired about the possibility of a web error, or to see if perhaps their services has changed, but no there is no error. Service to our hub has been terminated.

My wonderful hubby has suggested that we drive ourselves, but I just don't know...I can't help but wonder if this hurdle isn't the sign that I asked for since I've started praying about this being the next step in our journey. A part of me can't help but wonder if perhaps this isn't where we're supposed to head. Perhaps with the changes to our insurance, and the sudden lack of a hub in our area makes me wonder if it hasn't been obvious all along...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Date Night...

Yesterday work was abominable.

If you look up the word MICRO-MANAGER in the dictionary you would see a photograph of my boss next to it. I'm a self starter, I do not need anyone to check to make sure I'm working or to make sure that what I'm working on is on the priority list. Further I'm great at multitasking and as such I can read an email, and check an invoice at the same time. I'm so sorry that you feel that another co-worker "had a hard time" and isn't capable of doing such but this is not my problem, and I'm not your problem so lets move on.

This afternoon I had a productivity meeting with said boss. Apparently my error rate on said invoices is less than 2%. To be totally honest it is 1.8% Apparently I function at a 6 unit hour. Meaning that I produce 6 units of work--be it invoicing, order entry, deal with clients on the phone or issuance of RGA's. So in an 8 hour period I produce 48 pieces of tracable work. Apparently that is the highest in the department. Yet you felt the need to Micro-Manage me. When he asked if I needed to talk I told him NO, when he asked if he had done something from a management standpoint I told him YES, you micro-managed me and I do not like it, which lead to the above paragraph--blah blah blah.

After my meeting I emailed my hubby and asked if he'd like to have a drink at the Flop House*** (Name changed to protect our location). He immediately responded and said that YES it was a good idea. This was a good thing for last night we had a fight. A major fight at which time he packed a suit case because I hurt his feelings so badly. I was spiteful and mean, but tonight made up for it.

We both ordered our drinks, and devoured a delicious brick oven backed buffalo chicken pizza. It was heaven on a plate. We held hands, and talked about how important it is to unwind in this manner a bit more often. It will be especially important should we be accepted into the IVF study--for once we get pregnant I won't be able to have a vodka and cranberry juice with a slice of lime on the rim. Of course that doesn't mean that I can't call ahead and order a buffalo chicken pizza either...for pregnant women have mad cravings...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

She's Got Legs...

So last night I decided that I wanted to take my very first sauna. It was an off night from the gym as I had gone both Saturday and Sunday, but I didn't want to get out of the habit. So what better way to relax than taking a 20 minute sauna right?

I walked into the cedar planked room and took my seat on the top row. I breathed in the hot air and tried to relax, but the rubber on my ear buds was starting to burn my flushing skin so I moved to the other end of the room and moved the lower level bench. I stretched out my legs as the door opened. In walked a very friendly looking 20 something. She smiled at me and took her seat--above and directly across from me. "Hi. Isn't this great?" She asked as she arranged her self on her towel. Still listening to my music I smiled and said yes. She kept talking so I took my buds out so that I didn't appear to be rude.

She smiled again before she took off her top and stated "I'm so jealous of your legs!"

Not to be prideful, but I've been told I have nice legs--boy if people saw them as they are in their natural state--which 90% of the time is unshaven with sweat sock rings around the ankles they may change their minds, but I digress.

I smiled again and thanked her.

She smiled back and then proceeded to tell me that no she really liked them and that they were lovely, and curvy, and had great muscle tone.

"Thanks, my husband likes them too" Is what I said as I twisted my wedding band but what I was thinking was "Uhm, ok this is a little weird..."

"You're married?" She asks but didn't wait for an answer for she gathered her things and left. Needless to say I wasn't too far behind.

Tonight I played it safe...I wore yoga pants, and a long sleeve t-shirt and stuck to the elliptical....

Monday, January 10, 2011

26 Days Later...

"What's next on the list for New York?" He asked me this morning on our way to work.

"Showing up."

"That's it?"

"Yup, pretty much. Well, actually no that isn't it. You need to make sure that you abstain for no less than 2 days and no more than 5 days before we go"

"I can handle that."

"Yes dear I know you can. Just make sure it isn't until February 4th"

He grabbed my knee and squeezed as we both smiled.

My hope is that in 26 days as at this time we will be 2 hours into our home journey that we're still smiling, and still laughing. Of course as my husband so lovely pointed out--if nothing else, you'll have a lovely day in the city....