December brings with it a myriad of emotions for me as with it comes the 2 year anniversary of our unfulfilled due date. It's hard to believe that we would have a 2 year old toddler had I carried to term.
The first year we holed up in our homey abode. There were no stockings hung by the chimney, no Christmas tree permeating the air with scents of pine, and no Christmas cards sent. We did go through the motions, we went to my parents and his and exchanged gifts with the then numbering 4 nieces and nephews. Last year we bought the tree, and hung the stockings but a part of me still had no desire to really celebrate the birth of a child over 2000 years ago. Then I had a change of heart-it suddenly melted and I realized how blessed I am. No we weren't celebrating a first birthday but we were celebrating life and it was lovely.
This year its staring quite the same. I'm missing our baby boy, but I'm trying not to be melancholy about it. Instead I'm going to spend the weekend of our EDD in DC. Just two days away-a quick change of scenery and I can't wait. Of course we've already calculated the possible cycle days and where I will be. It seems that on my due date I will be CD 3, and I will be in the stirrups getting a lay of the land, looking at the internally scenery. Then I'm off...I'm going to spend two days the week before Christmas taking in DC in the snow, and I can't wait.
My husband? He's staying home w/the puppy who will still be fairly little...but me, I'm going to make his a yearly tradition--I'm going to celebrate what could have been instead of lamenting it.