Suddenly...

Suddenly I'm nervous.

I am fairly sure that I ovulated on Monday-the day before my ovidrel injection. My E2 was very high, my eggs nice and plump at 16 mm on Saturday. 20's on Monday??? I had a TON of EWCM on both Sunday and Monday. Today NONE. I have no pain of impending ovulation, and my nipples hurt. Why even in the pool during my water aerobics class when I willed my ovaries to elicit some pain, some kind of cramping I could yield none. When I checked my cervix it feels low, hard, and the CM is all but gone. Suddenly...I'm nervous.

If the insurance company changes our coverage drastically then I'm down to two cycles left. TWO. That's not a lot of chances to make a baby.

Suddenly I'm nervous. Suddenly the fact that I want to believe myself pregnant isn't as illuminating as it once was. Suddenly...I want this cycle to be over...its conclusion drawn...suddenly I don't think myself capable of getting through a 2ww...