Happy New Years Eve!
I've made the dip, I've visited my parents, and now I'm ready to wish this year away.
Another trip around the sun has been completed. Another even year is behind us. Two years have passed since I should have made my husband a father. 365 days have passed again without another pregnancy to be had.
This coming year my estranged in-laws will become grandparents to their first living grand child. My nephew will be a year closer to driving-Lord help us all. My marriage will have reached the 13 year mark. Seconds become minutes. Minutes become hours. Hours become days. Days become months. Months become years. We trudge through these moments sometimes living in them and other times living for them. The tear that is shed because you open an unexpected gift-a moment you can't get back because it was so fleeting and oh so precious. Or those you hope to achieve "At this time next month, holiday, year I could be pregnant!"
I've made both of those proclamations--though not the latter so much this year. I think I've reached the acceptance point that at this junction I'm simply going through the motions. Two years without a pregnancy to follow the one that took us 10 years to achieve and only 7 weeks and 2 days to loose...its not likely to happen. So...I've made a decision.
This blog is titled 1 Day and one pound At A Time...and I'm getting back to that.
My husband is a runner. He used to not be. He lost 70+ pounds in under 10 months! It took me 3 months to loose 17 pounds, and about 7 months to gain them all back. Enough going through those motions. Its time to put up or shut up. It's time to get off the couch and reclaim my existence. Do you know why I haven't been to my aerobics class in WEEKS? Not because I was told I couldn't go to water aerobics but because I made the excuse "Well if I'm pregnant then it won't matter if I eat this extra *insert any junk food here*. So while I was not only busy not getting pregnant I was also busy getting fat because I couldn't say no to the cookies, or brownies, or cheese, or other junk food that looked good at the moment.
So my resolution...like so many others is to get back at it. It's not a mole hill, its a mountain and its going to take some time and effort to climb to the top. A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step...and while I may not have a child to walk with me I have a lot more miles to go and there is no reason why I have to travel them on a scooter because I'm now too fat to walk around our plan on a 50+ degree day without becoming winded while walking up a slight grade (this actually happened today).